Hello!
This post is slightly different as I haven't actually written it. About a week ago, I asked one of my close friends, Kate, to write a blog post about what it is like from her point of view to have a friend with Cerebral Palsy. I can't thank Kate enough for writing this because I feel it gives a view from an able-bodied person about having friendships with individuals who have disabilities. I have found it really interesting to read myself so I hope you enjoy it and it gives you an insight on what it really is like to have a friend with CP.
Kate and I have known each other since we were really little, however it has only been over the past two years or so that we have formed a friendship. My older sister, Grace, is friends with Kate and has been for many years, since they were about three I believe! Kate has really helped me both physically and emotionally through times which have been quite difficult over the past year or so. We have a very light hearted friendship and basically can just laugh at anything when we are together. Kate is 2 and a half years older than me, you may think it would be hard to form a friendship with an age gap however I find it really helpful because it means that I feel very safe when I am with her, in case I fall or have a seizure etc. This is because Kate is almost an adult and is more mature than me therefore with both that and also her frequent experiences with people with CP, I can really trust that if there were to be a problem, she wouldn't panic or get stressed but just deal with the situation in hand. Our friendship is like any other really, we just might face a few more challenges but I honestly believe, the laughs we have together are truly hilarious and we will remember them for years to come! Aha.
Anyway, I'll stop talking now and let you read what Kate has to say about having a friend with Cerebral Palsy, enjoy!
Evie :) x
Evie :) x
'Hi everyone,
When I was asked to write this blog about what it's like to have a friend with Cerebral Palsy, my first reaction was "well it's just like any other friendship". However, in reflection, there is something special about a friendship with someone who has CP, I will try to explain why.
When I was asked to write this blog about what it's like to have a friend with Cerebral Palsy, my first reaction was "well it's just like any other friendship". However, in reflection, there is something special about a friendship with someone who has CP, I will try to explain why.
I am in Year 13 in the 6th form. I myself do not have Cerebral Palsy, however
I do have many close friends with the condition or a similar type of disability
and have done so throughout my school life. It was in Year 1 when I was asked to
take the new girl in my class who used a wheelchair to go and get the register.
When I mistakingly pushed her straight into a towering wooden door and her
chair tipped right over I felt like the most awful person alive, but when she
burst out laughing and told me it was fine and she thought it was absolutely
hilarious, I immediately felt at ease. It was at that moment that I made a very
strong friendship with someone who I am still close friends with today. That day she put me at ease about disability by just having such a great
reaction, she made me realise that disability was nothing to be worried about.
 |
Kate Evie
Our trip to attempt ice-skating!
|
It is true that I have experienced a number of unsettling times with my friends
with CP. Watching a friend have to go through life threatening surgery and
seeing them come out with complications has been incredibly upsetting. Watching
a friend be admitted to hospital numerous times as a result of having
uncontrollable seizures or be suffering with uncontrollable pain is something
no one wants to see anyone go through, let alone their close friends. However,
it is these friends with CP that have to endure the most awful experiences that
have the most positive outlook. They don't complain, instead they are grateful
that it's not worse and get through it with admirable laughter.
This is the best thing about my friends with CP, the laughter. They will make everything laughable (this includes at the most inappropriate of times, ha!) When faced with the most frustrating circumstances such as not being able to access the one place you always wanted to go, ignorant people staring or falling over because of the disability, In any situation, laughter is always the first solution. A great example is when Evie and I were out in town when she first got her new self propelled manual wheelchair. We were in a shop talking to a friend and suddenly Evie's chair tipped backwards leaving her flat on the floor with her legs in the air. Her reaction: laughter, for at least five minutes both Evie and I were in hysterics, Evie on the floor and me sat next to her unable to function because we were so hysterical. The passers by looked horrified at the fact that a girl using a wheelchair was on the floor yet both her and her friend found it so ridiculously amusing, but we did not give a dam, that's why I love my friends with CP. It is the way they can turn circumstances that most would think to be awful into comical events. It takes a lot to be able to laugh at the situations which most people would break at, it is for this that I truly admire my friends with CP.
Having a friend with CP does mean that you may have to help with a few extra things that you perhaps wouldn't need to do for others. This can include helping to get things out a bag, pushing their wheelchair (if it's not electric), ensuring that where you are going out is accessible, scheduling in a few more coffee stops for rests. CP can also cause disorders that trigger seizures, for example Epilepsy. Knowing the signs of a seizure and what to do if one occurs can be helpful. For example, in the majority of cases, a person with Epilepsy is able to get up after having a seizure and carry on with their day, not all seizures require an ambulance. Although it might sound concerning the thought of a friend dropping to the floor, most people with Epilepsy can tell when they are about to have a seizure. Knowing what is normal for your friend and what to do if this occurs is the best way to ensure that you are confident going out and that you have the best possible time. It is important to realise though that I have never found these adaptations to be any kind of a hinderance, it's just a case of being flexible, never has this prevented me from having a great time.
With CP you also learn that the smallest of things can be the biggest of achievements. Being seizure free for a number of consecutive days can be like the satisfaction of running a marathon. Remaining on two legs for a week (or remaining on four wheels in our case!) without unexpected meetings with the floor can be a huge success. They make you realise the important things in life.
The biggest respect I have for my friends with CP and the aspect that I love about them the most is the way that they are able to bring light to their disability through jokes. There's the jokes about the upsides of having a disability: When going to a concert you can guarantee the best seats and the most space, sitting up on a platform with huge amounts of space whilst looking down at everyone else who are barely able to move as it is so cramped, makes you feel like royalty. When visiting the theatre we have been greeted a number of times at the door by our own personal assistant for the evening, escorting us to our seats and bringing us our food and any merchandise meaning queuing is never an issue. Being the friend of someone with CP guarantees you a free carer ticket to the cinema, ice skating, theatre etc etc, halving the price taken down of a trip out! Queuing at concerts is never a factor, as soon as you arrive you are straight into your seats, no endless waiting outside in the cold. The list goes on and on.
Then, there are the jokes about the encounters with ignorant people. There is always an encounter with some misinformed individual which can be extremely irritating, However, the laugh we have as a result of it makes it bearable. For example the random greetings from complete strangers, people saying hello just because the person is using a wheelchair. The guy at the cinema who assumed that because my friend was in a wheelchair that she would want a children's food box, we were seventeen! The passer by who assumed that my friend lived in a children's home because they used a wheelchair. The person in the shop who talked to my friend like a total idiot assuming that she was unable to talk at all because she was sat down! The way that my friends with CP are able to deal with these uneducated people in such a positive and humorous way is why I admire them the most.
My biggest message to everyone out there is that being friends with people who have disabilities is one of the biggest things that I am most pleased about. Without them I would not be who I am today and I strongly believe I would not have got where I am. They have made me appreciate so many aspects of life. Cerebral palsy is special, it creates amazing people and awesome friendships.
This is the best thing about my friends with CP, the laughter. They will make everything laughable (this includes at the most inappropriate of times, ha!) When faced with the most frustrating circumstances such as not being able to access the one place you always wanted to go, ignorant people staring or falling over because of the disability, In any situation, laughter is always the first solution. A great example is when Evie and I were out in town when she first got her new self propelled manual wheelchair. We were in a shop talking to a friend and suddenly Evie's chair tipped backwards leaving her flat on the floor with her legs in the air. Her reaction: laughter, for at least five minutes both Evie and I were in hysterics, Evie on the floor and me sat next to her unable to function because we were so hysterical. The passers by looked horrified at the fact that a girl using a wheelchair was on the floor yet both her and her friend found it so ridiculously amusing, but we did not give a dam, that's why I love my friends with CP. It is the way they can turn circumstances that most would think to be awful into comical events. It takes a lot to be able to laugh at the situations which most people would break at, it is for this that I truly admire my friends with CP.
Having a friend with CP does mean that you may have to help with a few extra things that you perhaps wouldn't need to do for others. This can include helping to get things out a bag, pushing their wheelchair (if it's not electric), ensuring that where you are going out is accessible, scheduling in a few more coffee stops for rests. CP can also cause disorders that trigger seizures, for example Epilepsy. Knowing the signs of a seizure and what to do if one occurs can be helpful. For example, in the majority of cases, a person with Epilepsy is able to get up after having a seizure and carry on with their day, not all seizures require an ambulance. Although it might sound concerning the thought of a friend dropping to the floor, most people with Epilepsy can tell when they are about to have a seizure. Knowing what is normal for your friend and what to do if this occurs is the best way to ensure that you are confident going out and that you have the best possible time. It is important to realise though that I have never found these adaptations to be any kind of a hinderance, it's just a case of being flexible, never has this prevented me from having a great time.
With CP you also learn that the smallest of things can be the biggest of achievements. Being seizure free for a number of consecutive days can be like the satisfaction of running a marathon. Remaining on two legs for a week (or remaining on four wheels in our case!) without unexpected meetings with the floor can be a huge success. They make you realise the important things in life.
The biggest respect I have for my friends with CP and the aspect that I love about them the most is the way that they are able to bring light to their disability through jokes. There's the jokes about the upsides of having a disability: When going to a concert you can guarantee the best seats and the most space, sitting up on a platform with huge amounts of space whilst looking down at everyone else who are barely able to move as it is so cramped, makes you feel like royalty. When visiting the theatre we have been greeted a number of times at the door by our own personal assistant for the evening, escorting us to our seats and bringing us our food and any merchandise meaning queuing is never an issue. Being the friend of someone with CP guarantees you a free carer ticket to the cinema, ice skating, theatre etc etc, halving the price taken down of a trip out! Queuing at concerts is never a factor, as soon as you arrive you are straight into your seats, no endless waiting outside in the cold. The list goes on and on.
Then, there are the jokes about the encounters with ignorant people. There is always an encounter with some misinformed individual which can be extremely irritating, However, the laugh we have as a result of it makes it bearable. For example the random greetings from complete strangers, people saying hello just because the person is using a wheelchair. The guy at the cinema who assumed that because my friend was in a wheelchair that she would want a children's food box, we were seventeen! The passer by who assumed that my friend lived in a children's home because they used a wheelchair. The person in the shop who talked to my friend like a total idiot assuming that she was unable to talk at all because she was sat down! The way that my friends with CP are able to deal with these uneducated people in such a positive and humorous way is why I admire them the most.
My biggest message to everyone out there is that being friends with people who have disabilities is one of the biggest things that I am most pleased about. Without them I would not be who I am today and I strongly believe I would not have got where I am. They have made me appreciate so many aspects of life. Cerebral palsy is special, it creates amazing people and awesome friendships.
Thank you for reading,
Kate :)'
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